An Interesting Day

Let me just say, today has been an interesting day.

*Semi graphic details ahead.

6:30 Am – I woke up (exhausted, although I went to bed at a decent hour!) – okay, didn’t really wake up. Snoozed my alarm.

6:50 AM – I succumbed to the alarm’s repeated requests for me to haul my large @$$ out of bed. I turned on the news and rubbed my Petal-belly. (Dang, that makes me sound like a fat, couch potato!)

6:55 AM – I finally lugged my ginormous belly, rear-end and thighs from the bed, to go to the bathroom.

6:57 AM – I stared at the toilet paper trying to get my still sleepy eyes to focus. Blood.

(Let me share my initial thought: “Dang it, Jeremy! I told you not to go out of town! If I go into labor and you aren’t here, I’ll be pissed.”)

There’s enough blood that it looks like I am just getting my period, but it’s a mixture of blood and clear… stuff.

6:58 AM – I stand up. Blood down my legs and on the floor. Thank God I’m pantless. Now, my mind is racing through possible scenarios, yet I’m extremely calm. “Ugh, I cannot do this today,” I think. Am I a bad mom-to-be??

7:10 AM – After cleaning up the bathroom and myself… I have paced my bedroom – office – bathroom about four times. Sasha is staring at me from the bedroom door, as if I’m nuts. I’m debating calling Jeremy or texting him with an I told you so update. I text Jeremy. Surprisingly, he responds quickly.

7:20 AM – I’m trying to get dressed. What should I wear? What if I really start bleeding? Of course, I am not prepared for labor; I don’t have any pads or anything in my house, I don’t have a bag packed… and I still have a long list of To-Do’s before the baby is born. Brilliant.

7:30 AM – I let Sasha out. Stand there and debate whether I should text my parents and sister… or, if I’ll be the annoying first-time-mom-false-labor-cries-wolf-woman.

7:35 AM – I text my parents and Cari.

7:50 AM – Finally, leave for work. I feel like I’m crazy because I truly don’t know what’s going on. How can I not be in control in this situation?

8:00 AM – Figure out my doctor’s office doesn’t open until 8:30 AM.

8:15 AM – Tell my co-workers I have to go to the doctor. They all freak out – saying I have to be in labor or close to it! Thanks, that isn’t helping!

8:30 AM – Call my doctor’s office to schedule an appt. My doctor is booked for the entire day. Other doctors at closest office are out in delivery, c-section or have the day off. Of course! Schedule appt with nurse practitioner I’ve seen before.

8:45 AM – Talk to Jeremy on my way to the doctor. Still feeling nuts for scheduling a seemingly unnecessary appointment.

9:00 AM – Doctor’s office. Weight – yuck. Blood pressure – ridiculously good 120/80?! Seriously? Petal’s heart rate – 138, the lowest it’s been yet. Sign we’re getting closer to delivery.

9:15 AM – Meet with NP. Measures my belly – 36 cm holy large!. On schedule. Insert speculum in my vajayjay – yuck. (I guess I’m SO not ready for birth!!) Looks at cervix. Shows normal signs of 9 months of pregnancy looks like hamburger? WTC?! . NP completes Group B Strep test, to which I’ll receive the results next week. NP feels cervix again, this doesn’t feel so great 9 months pregnant not dilated. NP concludes that I have lost my mucus plug. Advises me to “lay low” this weekend and keep myself from going into labor before Dec 6.

9:40 AM – I head back to work. Sit. And. Wait. For. Anything. Else. To. Happen.

I guess my body is welcoming me to 9 months of pregnancy.

Awesome.